We just wanted to let
everyone know that we were unsuccessful in our attempt to get custody of CC
yesterday. In fact, we learned that we never really had a chance. This summer, we
completed an ICPC in which a caseworker came out and assessed our home, us, our
marriage, our abilities as parents, etc. We passed and it was sent on to Kansas
to help insure that CC would come live with us while not in Her mom's custody.
Well, Kansas took a long time to approve it. In fact, if it weren't for a good
friend of mine, it would've sat in a stack of papers. Toward the end of
September it was approved, and CC was set to come live with us, but Her mom's
attorney objected to it.
Yesterday, the judge
addressed the ICPC briefly. In fact, it's unlikely that he read it because he
asked my husband, “where do you live now?" and he also stated that the
ICPC doesn't prove that it's worth splitting up CC and her sister. The CASA
worker noted that CC said she does not want to come live with us and be
separated from her sister and that her sister is terrified of CC leaving. So,
the judge ruled that the girls would stay with CC's grandfather until January
when the next hearing is regarding the girls' care and Her mom's progress. At
that time, Murad and Her mom went into mediation to work out a parenting plan.
We had come up with a fair parenting plan which Her mom approved of prior to
the hearing. However, during mediation she changed her wants and she even
brought CC’s sister’s father in and was consulting him on the choices. Our
attorney should have fought to have CC’s sister’s father removed from the
mediation, but didn't and things got so heated that Murad almost hit CC’s
sister’s father. In fact, he was egging Murad on trying to get him to hit him.
Luckily, Murad realized that and walked away, but because of this the judge is
ordering that Murad take anger management classes before resuming visitation
with CC.
After this, we
realized we have reached our breaking point emotionally, physically, and
financially. We know that CC will never want to come live with us because she's
too afraid of what will happen to her mother if she does. She's gotten so used
to caring for her mom throughout her addiction that she just can't imagine life
without her. While it's easy for us to see that, it's not easy for us to
accept. Murad and I have built a life together and we have a beautiful family
with a baby girl on the way. We haven't fully allowed ourselves to get excited
about our daughter because we've been in such limbo about CC. As painful as it
is to say it, reaching this point has given us some relief after months and
years of heartache. We now know that we tried everything in our power to parent
CC, and the broken system just would not let us.
