Friday, October 24, 2014

Final Post

We just wanted to let everyone know that we were unsuccessful in our attempt to get custody of CC yesterday. In fact, we learned that we never really had a chance. This summer, we completed an ICPC in which a caseworker came out and assessed our home, us, our marriage, our abilities as parents, etc. We passed and it was sent on to Kansas to help insure that CC would come live with us while not in Her mom's custody. Well, Kansas took a long time to approve it. In fact, if it weren't for a good friend of mine, it would've sat in a stack of papers. Toward the end of September it was approved, and CC was set to come live with us, but Her mom's attorney objected to it.

Yesterday, the judge addressed the ICPC briefly. In fact, it's unlikely that he read it because he asked my husband, “where do you live now?" and he also stated that the ICPC doesn't prove that it's worth splitting up CC and her sister. The CASA worker noted that CC said she does not want to come live with us and be separated from her sister and that her sister is terrified of CC leaving. So, the judge ruled that the girls would stay with CC's grandfather until January when the next hearing is regarding the girls' care and Her mom's progress. At that time, Murad and Her mom went into mediation to work out a parenting plan. We had come up with a fair parenting plan which Her mom approved of prior to the hearing. However, during mediation she changed her wants and she even brought CC’s sister’s father in and was consulting him on the choices. Our attorney should have fought to have CC’s sister’s father removed from the mediation, but didn't and things got so heated that Murad almost hit CC’s sister’s father. In fact, he was egging Murad on trying to get him to hit him. Luckily, Murad realized that and walked away, but because of this the judge is ordering that Murad take anger management classes before resuming visitation with CC.

After this, we realized we have reached our breaking point emotionally, physically, and financially. We know that CC will never want to come live with us because she's too afraid of what will happen to her mother if she does. She's gotten so used to caring for her mom throughout her addiction that she just can't imagine life without her. While it's easy for us to see that, it's not easy for us to accept. Murad and I have built a life together and we have a beautiful family with a baby girl on the way. We haven't fully allowed ourselves to get excited about our daughter because we've been in such limbo about CC. As painful as it is to say it, reaching this point has given us some relief after months and years of heartache. We now know that we tried everything in our power to parent CC, and the broken system just would not let us. 

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