Thursday, April 17, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
In 2010, my husband and I bought a wonderful 4 bedroom home. Our motive for buying was because at the time, C.C. was going to come live with us. Her mother was going through issues and thought it would be better for her to live with us. Unfortunately, C.C. was not completely sold on it. She didn't want to be away from her mother. She fought us on every decision we made and didn't want to be part of anything. We made the decision to let her choose if she wanted to stay and she decided to return to her mother's care. We had no idea about the drug use, and could not even fathom how serious it would get. Now we're here almost four years later. C.C. is begging to come live with us, and we don't have her mother's cooperation. We don't have the courts' cooperation. We've changed bedrooms quite a few times in our four years here. C.C.'s room started out as her room, then it was a guest room, then my brother-in-law's room and now it's back to a guest room. Our home office is now a play room. Our son (J.T.) room started out as my brother-in-law's room and now it's his room. Nevertheless, when I asked C.C. if she wanted to move back into the guest room or have me turn the play room into her room. She quickly said she wanted the guest room again because "it has the most comfortable bed!" It really is not a comfortable bed, but I guess when you're used to sleeping on the floor, sharing a bed with a roommates kid, or sleeping on the couch, a bed of your own in your own room is pretty nice. I picked up this piece of art this weekend while out of town. I found it at a local furniture and clothing store. I love it because it is rustic, but I love the sunflower because it reminds me of Kansas, my home state as well as C.C.'s home state. It's waiting for you, C.C!
Welcome to our blog! Why is it called My Father's Joy? Well, simply because my husband's daughter's name means "My Father's Joy," or "Joy of My Father" in Hebrew. This is a place for us to share our experience with presumed paternity based on marriage and how it creates fatherless children. In 2001, my husband's daughter was born. Because her mother was unsure of who the father was at the time, she married someone a month before his daughter was born. The husband abandoned them a little over a year after Murad's daughter's birth (we'll call her C.C. to protect her internet identity), and quickly after that Murad learned of his child. He had a DNA test done only to learn it wouldn't stand in court, and actually learned (after spending thousands of dollars no less) that it is nearly impossible to contest paternity when the mother was married at the time of the child's birth. For the next ten years, my husband would be in and out of C.C.'s life at the mercy of her mother. He tried to always do what was right, but her bitterness and drug addiction made it difficult to be the father C.C. deserves. In that time, we met, adopted two dogs, earned bachelor's and master's degrees, married, bought a home and welcomed our son all while trying to make C.C. part of our family. Now we are where C.C. has been removed from her mother's care due to neglect and drug use. C.C. has requested to come live with us, but since my husband is not on the birth certificate, she is not in our custody. We are trying to prevent her from going to foster care and raise awareness about the paternity laws and statutes in Kansas. Fortunately, the judge ordered a paternity test, but we fear that it won't be done in time for the next hearing. If that's the case, our daughter C.C. may go into foster care. I'll post ways you can help support us and ultimately support C.C. Right now we're asking for lots of positive thoughts and prayers.