Monday, April 14, 2014

Our Story (the Cliffs Notes)

Welcome to our blog! Why is it called My Father's Joy? Well, simply because my husband's daughter's name means "My Father's Joy," or "Joy of My Father" in Hebrew. This is a place for us to share our experience with presumed paternity based on marriage and how it creates fatherless children. In 2001, my husband's daughter was born. Because her mother was unsure of who the father was at the time, she married someone a month before his daughter was born. The husband abandoned them a little over a year after Murad's daughter's birth (we'll call her C.C. to protect her internet identity), and quickly after that Murad learned of his child. He had a DNA test done only to learn it wouldn't stand in court, and actually learned (after spending thousands of dollars no less) that it is nearly impossible to contest paternity when the mother was married at the time of the child's birth. For the next ten years, my husband would be in and out of C.C.'s life at the mercy of her mother. He tried to always do what was right, but her bitterness and drug addiction made it difficult to be the father C.C. deserves. In that time, we met, adopted two dogs, earned bachelor's and master's degrees, married, bought a home and welcomed our son all while trying to make C.C. part of our family. Now we are where C.C. has been removed from her mother's care due to neglect and drug use. C.C. has requested to come live with us, but since my husband is not on the birth certificate, she is not in our custody. We are trying to prevent her from going to foster care and raise awareness about the paternity laws and statutes in Kansas. Fortunately, the judge ordered a paternity test, but we fear that it won't be done in time for the next hearing. If that's the case, our daughter C.C. may go into foster care. I'll post ways you can help support us and ultimately support C.C. Right now we're asking for lots of positive thoughts and prayers.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry you guys are having to deal with this .. I will pray and let me know what i should do to get this advocacy out to others .

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