The Hearing: the good, the bad, the ugly

Murad went to court today and was rewarded with: another paternity test! When he arrived, he, C.C.’s mom, & C.C.’s mom’s boyfriend (C.C.’s sister's alleged father) took drug tests. They all three passed (not that we were worried about Murad). C.C.’s mom & C.C.’s mom’s boyfriend celebrated passing the test. The judge looked over all of Murad's documents and told both attorneys that he'd have enough evidence to declare Murad the father. When C.C.’s mom's attorney told her, she immediately said he wasn't the father and her attorney said they'd reject any claims as such. The judge then said a paternity test would have to be done which C.C.’s mom tried to block saying her estranged husband hadn't responded to the paternity summons, and that C.C.’s mom’s boyfriend should be C.C.’s father because she saved her life once when she drowned. However, the county attorney said her estranged husband was given sufficient amount of time to respond and the judge agreed. When C.C.’s mom learned that C.C.’s mom’s boyfriend wasn't going to be able to see C.C.’s sister until a paternity test was done, she quickly changed her tune and said that Murad was C.C.’s father. She said let C.C. see Murad, but judge said it was too late and that the fairest thing to do would be to do the paternity test. The judge handed everything over to Family Services which means now I (Ashlea) have to get approved by them to talk to C.C. and so do all family members. Murad's attorney spent some time explaining how to get a paternity test ordered to the Family Services caseworker. Our attorney told Murad she'd call every day until it's done. The judge put in an expedited order for paternity, so we're hoping it'll be less time than we expected before. So, it feels like we're at a stand-still. Once the paternity tests are done, the child in need of care hearing will occur, at which C.C. may or may not come home with us. If she doesn't, we'll file for custody. We're not absolutely sure how long this all will take, but we're trying not to give up hope for C.C.’s sake. However, it's hard not to do. We know C.C. is having a hard time. She's told everyone that if she doesn't see Murad soon she'll explode. The Family caseworker said that C.C. asks to Skype with me all the time. And of course she misses her ornery little brother. We feel like we've failed her, but we're hoping this period apart is short and worth the wait. Keep praying!

The next three weeks

In three weeks we go back to court. In fact, our original June hearing has been removed and we are now having a Ross Hearing to determine the fathers of C.C. and her sister. A Ross Hearing is a Kansas thing named after a case in which the courts determined that a paternity test was not in the best interest of the child. So, in short, my husband has to prove that he is in fact, C.C.'s father by his efforts to maintain a relationship with her over the past ten years. Luckily, we have years and years of photos and documents showing that my husband has acted as a parent. In addition, we have emails and letters signed by her mother stating that he is her father; however, she will contest it unfortunately. She's upset that it has even come to this. She will say that her estranged husband is not the father, but that C.C.'s sister's father has been more of a father to her than my husband. We are preparing for that, but we are also preparing for her to come home with us. Foster care is still an option, but we're hoping it won't be. We have a good attorney who is moving things along quickly and we feel confident that we will bring C.C. home. We have to think about many things including where C.C. will go to school. We live near a middle school, but I work for a school district in a neighboring city. We are thinking of having her go to school in my school district so that she'll be close by. I also have relationships with many of the counselors and teachers in that district. Ultimately, it'll be her decision. We just want for her to attend the best school for her, and to have a good experience. We also need to think about a name change for her. She currently has her mom's estranged husband's last name. Logically, we would most likely change it to our last name. However, she has talked about hyphenating her last name with her mother's maiden name and our last name. She also has her mother's husband's middle name, so she may want to abandon that as well. I have a feeling her "new" name will be quite different than her old name, but again it has to be her decision. Continue to pray for us and for C.C. as we head to court. Pray that she can make it through these next few weeks and that we can too.